There has been increasing talk about “homemaker” and “stay-at-home-mom” (wife, dad, etc.) What is it, exactly? I believe the two are not synonamous.
When it comes to managing a home, there are a few things you should be aware of. You don’t have to become a master plumber or financial advisor, but there are things you should have a basic knowledge of. Now, this does not apply only to a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM). Anyone caring for their own home or apartment should know these things, be it a new college freshman, single adult, or a married family. However, many of these duties will fall to a SAHM or SAHD, as it makes sense in the support of the family. Your spouse is out battling the world for the comforts and food, while you are holding the fort and creating a home. Both are important to the building and nurturing of families.
Importantly, homemaking is not the Trad Wife trend. That trend is in some ways merely a caricature. If that is what you are into, by all means, go for it. But I see it as an unnecessary burden to add to your life. Following traditional values does not mean you have to copy old fashion trends. There is technology for a reason, and fashion is fluid. The 1950’s woman did not have a TikTok account to share her daily routine. So don’t be scared away from the importance of this work because some women like to be more extreme than others. No need to get up at 0400 to make bread. Just get some at the grocery store. What is important is that there is bread available. And yes, I use military time.
The vitriol in social media that is geared towards the homemaking traits has been around for decades and it is only getting worse. I remember growing up, the attitude that a girl who refused homemaking for sports or career was “better than” some girls who wanted to cook and clean was a prevalent one. You could proudly announce “I don’t cook,” and be celebrated rather than mocked for it. It was supposed to be some sort of strong woman thing. “Boys don’t cook so neither should I” sort of mentality. Nowadays, there is the gloating of being a DINK (double income no kids) or glamorizing being childless. Oddly enough, they then go and get pets, which is basically raising a toddler for 15 years, only on easy mode. ”A person’s value to society is their corporate presence”, says modernity.
It is foolish. I was foolish. The child argument is for another day. Everyone needs to know how to cook. Everyone needs to know how to clean. You need to know how to care for your home and family. Knowing how to do these things makes you a capable adult. The push for women to step away from it was because of the push to get women into the workplace. It is a push to step away from the natural and inborn qualities with which women are gifted: to nurture and to teach. It was a faulty argument that female qualities were not of worth. Much like the faulty argument that masculinity is toxic.
Homemaking
I want to discuss the basics that have been so neglected recently in our societal education. What is a homemaker? Or, what is homemaking?
According to the dictionary, a homemaker is one who manages a household, especially as a spouse and parent. Another definition is that homemaking is nurturing. This requires organization, patience, love, and work. To manage a household, one will require food, sanitation, organization, a budget, and communication. You don’t have to have a passion for any of these things, but you do need to know how to do them. I also want to note that doing these things influences your life in more ways than simply work. It affects those around you. It affects your mental well-being. Small, seemingly unexciting actions taken every day can change your life in wonderful ways.
I have identified 7 areas of critical importance as it pertains to maintaining a healthy home and family: Finances, Home Care, Cleaning and Mending, First Aid, Healthy Eating, Child Care, and Atmosphere. I will go over each one briefly in this article, and follow up with several individual articles about these topics.
Finances
Ugh, finances. Money. It’s nice to have, but I hate dealing with it. Managing a home includes managing money for the home. This includes budgeting, getting out of debt, HSA, IRAs, savings, etc. I’m surprised to hear that some SAHMs don’t know how much money their spouses make or have even gotten access to bank account information. I have not always been the best at saving, but I have managed to keep myself afloat and now I am out of debt (except for mortgage). Finances can be a huge issue when spouses do not have the same goals. I will talk about some ways to save, give you some resources on what IRAs and HSAs are, why they are important, and more.
Home Care
You would think this was a no-brainer, but there is more than just picking up clutter and painting the walls. It means just like you need to care for your car with oil changes and tire rotations, you need to do the same with your home. Do you know where your main water line is? What type of filter does your furnace have? You could leave this all up to a handyman or your husband, but if you are like me, I don’t have that kind of money to always call a handyman, nor am I so incapable that I need to ask my husband to do these things. I will go over some basics to be aware of and offer some resources to learn how.
Cleaning and Mending
We hold stewardship over our homes. This includes cleaning and mending. Alas, the dreaded cleaning section. My husband always jokes that he married me for my Shark vacuum. But once you have a good vacuum, you will never want to go back. I’m not really going to go into a “how-to” in this section, as I’m not going to insult your intelligence by assuming you don’t know how to sweep. I am going to go over why we should, provide some organization and ideas on what needs cleaned and how often, and maybe some products I use. We will also discuss mending, and being responsible of the things we use.
Go to Home Ec 101: Cleaning and Mending
First Aid
No need to be a doctor, but it’s good to know your basics because your little ones are going to hurt themselves. A lot. You and your spouse are going to get sick. Running to urgent care over and over again will get costly. And you will want to run there. I have experience with injuries and I used to teach American Red Cross First Aid and CPR, and I still wanted to run to the ER because I was a new parent and freaking out. But I did not. And when you do have some knowledge on treating minor injuries, that initial freakout will fade. In this section, I will be offering some general home first aid, items to have on hand, and recognition on when you should go to the hospital.
Go to Home Ec 101: First Aid
Healthy Eating
What, no donuts? No food pyramid? There is so much conflicting information out there. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what is the truth because I don’t know. So I will go back to what I do know. Real food is healthy. A bunch of sugary and/or processed stuff is not. Vegetables are good. In this section I will talk about implementing healthy meals into your diet, along with kiddos diets, meal prep, and more.
Go to Home Ec 101: Healthy Eating
Child Care
The day to day care of your children is a job unto itself. Just think, there are jobs for being a nanny, and jobs for being a maid. You could career in both. Raising children is more than just giving them a baba and changing their diaper. While those very important, you also have doctors visits, changing diets, discipline, structure, learning new skills, and safety.
Go to Home Ec 101: Child Care
Atmosphere
What does this mean to create a homemaking atmosphere? Is it that hygge craze I keep reading about? Kind of. Not everyone can be a SAHM. Life just doesn’t guarantee that. But you can make your house a home by what it feels like when you enter the front door. Have you ever gone somewhere and just felt at peace? Or the opposite, you walk in and you automatically feel on edge? The smell, the look, the feel. All of these things come into play when you are creating your atmosphere of your home.
Go to Home Ec 101: Atmosphere
Conclusion
It’s work. It really is. You are not “not working”. You are homemaking. And that is one of the most noble and worthwhile jobs to ever do, and don’t let anyone get away with telling you otherwise.